To: Parents/Guardians

Date: September 14, 2001

From: Roberta R. Zampolin

This past week has been one of the most difficult and trying in our country's history. We continue to be united in our school/community priority to give all our children the support of caring adults to help them cope with this national crisis. To that end we have compiled the following advice that we hope will be helpful.

< In general, children experience a variety of reactions and feelings, based on their age, in response to a disaster and need special attention to meet their needs. THE TWO MOST COMMON DISTRESS INDICATORS are 1) changes in typical behavior and 2) behavior regression (past earlier age behaviors reoccur).

< REACTIONS MAY APPEAR IMMEDIATELY OR AFTER SEVERAL DAYS OR WEEKS. Most of the time the symptoms will pass after the child readjusts. When symptoms continue it is wise to refer the child to a professional experienced in working with children and trauma (school professional or mental health professional.)

< IN GENERAL ADULTS SHOULD:

• model calm and control
• maintain as normal a routine as possible
• verbally and physically reassure children- being especially sensitive to children who have faced other loss in their lives
• assure children that they and their families are safe (the buildings involved were targeted for their greatness - neighborhoods, schools and regular office buildings are not at risk)
• Let children know it is okay to be upset
• Encourage all children to verbalize their feelings ...be a good listener
• Limit the television viewing time of the event for the whole family
• Be vigilant about what may be rumor - even when the source is the media
• Spend as much time as possible with your children
• Focus on how hurtful hate and dissension is, rather than on rumors about the individuals, or nationalities of those who perpetrated the events.
• To promote tolerance, avoid "scapegoating" -targeting others for blame

< AGE SPECIFIC SUGGESTIONS: It is important to give children guidance that will help them reduce their fears. Ultimately you should decide what is best for your children, but consider using these suggestions as guidelines:

PRESCHOOL (1-5 YEARS) REACTIONS:

• feel helpless and insecure
• fear abandonment
• Behavior Examples: fear of darkness, clinging, bed wetting, speech difficulties
• Preschool Helpful Hints:
  • model calm
  • encourage expression through play
  • verbal and physical reassurance
  • comforting bedtime routines

SCHOOL AGE (5-11 YEARS) REACTIONS:

• able to understand permanent changes or loses
• fears and anxieties predominate - Imaginary fears
• preoccupation with details of the disaster
• Behavior Examples: aggression, school avoidance, whining, clinging

• patience and tolerance
• temporary relaxed expectations at school/home
• discussion and play sessions with adults/peers
• structure, but not demands

PRE-ADOLESCENCE (11-14 YEARS) REACTIONS:

• peer reactions are significant
• need to know his/her fears are appropriate
• Behavior Examples: school problems, physical symptoms, loss of interest in peer activities, rebellion at home

• group routine activities
• group discussions about the disaster
• temporary relaxed expectations of performance
• additional attention and consideration

ADOLESCENCE (14-18 YEARS) REACTIONS

• fear about loss of family
• fears about their bodies
• more risk-taking behaviors
• overwhelmed by emotions
• unable to discuss emotions with their families
• Behavior Examples: physical complaints, aggressive behaviors, withdrawal and isolation, decline in struggle with parental control, indifference

• encourage discussion of disaster with peers
• encourage but do not insist on discussion in family setting
• encourage social activities
• temporary relaxed expectations of performance

Knowing what to say is often difficult. When no other words come to mind, a hug and saying "this is really hard for all of us" may help.

Please remember that the entire staff is here as a resource for you. We encourage you to call your school to talk to a teacher, guidance counselor or school psychologist if you have a concern about your child or your family. Our mutual caring efforts will bring comfort and strength to all of us.